Do I believe in god?

The thing I want to solve is that there is a very vague line in spirituality between spirituality being everything that is happening and being aware of that you can create anything. So just using it as an opening to see the world in a very broad way and trying to grasp the world in a more real sense. And the spirituality that explains things you need to believe outside of you and you can summon things and there is a whole lot we can't see and experience.
I want the answer on this, but this can only be answered by someone who truly understands what I am asking here and not by someone whose main world view is believing.

I think god is something so big and complex outside of us that it itself contains the framework of existence and doesn't see or think of us in any way because it is in itself the one that creates what can be structured and thought about. We humanize it way too much and I think spirituality lays in between humanizing it and accepting existence as is.
We create feelings and experiences that we attach to god to make it more human like, but god is more like a sea. And if I think about it this way it almost becomes useless to even think about it as a god, because it is just another word for existence :(. God is only something that can be used for 2 things: It can be used for believing itself and to make it human, and the other usage is to transcend people into thinking outside of their world view into new perspectives and a closer more aligned version of reality. Without experiencing anything that would humanize or make god really different from it being everything there is no point for me to make believing in its existence what my world view revolves around.
It is way more useful to me as a concept to use and play with and believe in for perspectives than revolving everything around it. Because I've already attached a world view that contains how the world can be experienced when believing in god.